Jan 3, 2014

How to Become an Urban Hippie (in 20 easy steps)

Amidst all of the heartache and turmoil in my 2013 (it really was the worst - hence only 6 POSTS last year), I managed to shift my life in a new direction. My lone new year's resolution last year, perhaps out of desperation or boredom, was to become a hippie. Over the course of the year, sometimes consciously, other times intuitively, I started to change my life.  A few days ago, we were having dinner with some friends and one of them was laughing about how I managed to replace my serious coffee addiction with peppermint essential oil. And he commented how I really have turned into a hippie and asked if I had dreamcatchers in my house (as a joke).  I have 4 of them.  How does one not have a dreamcatcher in their house with kids?  They capture bad dreams! I guess I achieved hippiedom. If you too would like to become an urban hippie, here is a comprehensive list of how to reach your dream... 

1. Start with a couple of dreamcatchers. Preferably big ones.    

2. Replace all of your glassware with mason jars.  Don't actually use them for canning.  Instead store things like nuts and goji berries in the fridge (non-hippies store these in their pantries). Replace all your water bottles with mason jars and put green coloured drinks in them when you go to yoga class.  

3. Join a yoga studio.  (I like this one: Yoga Santosha) Make sure you buy a crystal bead bracelet before you go. Hang out in the lobby with the other yogis when you're not practicing, sipping on your green smoothie.  This is your new soul family. 

Lobby of Yoga Santosha
4. Take all of your money, and give it to alternative health practitioners.  There's lots of them out there, so you will need lots of money. Revel in the extra whack of Christmas cards received from your rad alternative health team. 

My team: 
Naturopath: Integra Naturopathics (Dr. Arnel is highly recommended) 
Craniosacral Therapist: Ann-Marie Church (she's amazing, and the only one doing myofascial release as well) 
Acupunturist: Dr. Cam Forester at Prema Sai (also wonderful) 
Life Coach: Dr. Chelsea at Center for Healthy Living (truly gifted)
Osteopath: Dr. Kathy Teal at Integra Naturopathics (gentle and thorough) 

5. Buy anything that these alternative practitioners recommend.  And keep using it even if it isn't working at all. Start all of your sentences with "Well my [acupuncturist/naturopath/craniosacral therapist/intuitive therapist/life coach] said..." 

6. Take the rest of your money and shop at local organic markets (because we don't have Whole Foods here yet - ahem).  Be sure to buy everything local, even if it means eating root vegetables and pork for 8 months. My favourites are: 

Market 17
Blush Lane
Community Natural Foods
Kingsland Farmer's Market has a good selection of organic meat and fish
Light Cellar 

7. If you are a gardener, switch to biodynamic gardening.  So you can start growing vegetables/flowers with with cycles of the moon!  You can buy a calendar here: Stella Natura. Be sure to bless your seeds  and walk over your garden beds in bare feet before planting. (I had an amazing garden last year, btw)  Classes for biodynamic gardening are available here: Alexandra's Butterfly Garden.  Alexandra is really gifted and has this incredible straw bale house that she teaches out of that her husband built west of Calgary. She also has a sweat lodge on her property.  I need to be her best student. 

8. Consider a backyard chicken coop and a beehive until your husband reminds you that you live in the inner city.

9.  Cut out wheat, sugar, coffee, alcohol, and lactose permanently to achieve anti-inflammatory and pH neutral status.  Say you are happier and healthier without it.  Eat kale chips and drink bone broths. Make your own peanut butter and hummus in your new $700 Vitamix. Reluctantly buy Gwenyth Paltrow's cookbook, It's all Good. Ponder why you are never invited over to friends' houses for dinner anymore.

10. Go to crystal stores a lot.  Bring your kids.  Staff LOVE kids at crystal stores.  Especially when you buy 3 times as many crystals for all the ones they break. Buy crystals that speak to you or are pretty and match your decor.  Carry small crystals in your purse or in your bra. My favourite: Earth Gems on 17th Ave

11. Create a space for meditation and reflection. Have your partner make you a daybed made from old crates and fill the space with crystals, candles and Buddha.  Then don't ever use the room.  

12. Spend lots of money on 21-day free online meditations.  Especially anything by Deva and Mitten.  Partly because of their names.  Great spots for meditation classes: Canadian Meditation Institute and 7th Chakra on 17th Ave

13. Sage your house regularly to rid the environment of negative energies.  Buy an abalone shell and a eagle feather to store the sage for some mysterious reason. It's all about the props, baby!  Buy sage and props here: Nurture Health and Wellness 

14. Buy a dehydrator.  Did you know that dehydrated apples last for 20-25 years?  Prepare for apocalypse. Dehydrators available here

15. Source ridiculous food that isn't sold in Canada.  Like Great Lakes Gelatin. So you can make these.

Source: Meatified (I wonder if the blogger meant that one at the bottom to look like it was murdered?)
Aren't they cute?  And they heal your gut lining! 

16. Who needs western medicine? All things can be cured with apple cider vinegar, honey, and flower tinctures!  My favourite vibrational medicine is here: Senses of the Soul (and local!)

17. Buy 15-20 different natural deodorants as you transition away from nasty aluminum-based regular deodorant. This one rocks (At least no one has told me otherwise).  And it's Calgary-made!  

18. Read as many alternative health books as possible. If someone recommends it, it must be good. Add it to the pile. Ditto for websites, Facebook pages, or classes. 

19. Become a Young Living rep: Young Living Canada 
Wear/diffuse essential oils at all time. Ignore all 'scent free zone' signs. They don't apply to natural oils!  
And add holiday to the lavender fields in Mona, Utah to your bucket list.

Young Living Lavender Farm, Mona Utah
20. Blame all of your mood swings on solar flares and the transition into the Age of Aquarius. For fascinating energy reports see: Senses of the Soul Blog

Good luck!



Heather said...

This made me laugh so hard! You forgot the copper bracelet. Doesn't that align your chakras or something?

Laura said...

Hmmm. As long as it doesn't interfere with my crystal bracelet qi. ha ha

Sylvie said...

haha im so doing many of these!

Post a Comment